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situpsandfruitcups:

Benefits of big hips:

Laundry basket rest
Yoga pants
Tiny human rest
Full size human rest
Hip checking those who challenge you
Ability to swing them wider than a cadillac
Model walk is 10x more dramatic
Taking up more space
Looking like a fertility goddess

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daaaaaanxsmith:

Matty Healy @ Positivus Festival 2014

greetings:

when they mess up your order but end up giving you extra food for free

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ihaveahutchersonproblem:

I have never reblogged anything faster in my life.

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kaylainthetardis:

amoracomplex:

dirtrider333:

zombikki:

veganasfuck:

How many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw. 

This is the best joke ever.

Haha…fuck you - sincerely every friendzoned guy ever

You wish - sincerely the women who are by no means obligated to sleep with you.

*mic-drop*

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